What is so complexingly odd about visiting home after being gone a while--is that everyone wants and tries and strains to view you as exactly the same person as when you left. Which is rather silly when you think about it, because they certainly aren't the same person as they were six months ago, so why should you be?
I met up with an old friend today to chat for like five minutes. Lord knows I still love her, she's a great person, but standing there while she chattered...it was like a time warp. It was like someone gave me the unique chance to glimpse exactly what my life would have been like had I not gone away. It was also a tad discombobulating because I felt like I had missed a step everyone else knew about. I've been to school after high school--but I had gone to trade school. I'm poised and ready to get a 'real' job, make car payments, make the rent on the three bedroom house, decide what I'm going to do with my free time other than sit around and get high/drunk/bitch about how hard life is/whatever.
It's amazing how only after high school did I realize I'm something of an a) busy person (this vacation is driving me batty) and b) an overachiever. Hell, in high school I only graduated with honors because AP classes drive your GPA up by a couple points, and my teachers could only vaguely recollect who the fuck I was, and thus gave me a passing grade even if they couldn't find all my papers.
I'm on my first long vacation in years, I've agreed to read two full length novels, I've been doing puzzles everyday, I've been walking, reading, knitting, cleaning, packing to move and just in general planning my life.
My friend? She went to Mexico for two weeks, hung around, came back, was hanging with friends and her big activity of the day was buying a bubbler. It's most definitely not a bad way to live--just so different. And so in-my-face after so long away.
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